Likeability is truly the secret to a charmed, happy, and profitable life. ~Tim Sanders
This takes less than 3
minutes to read.
Question: How is public speaking like the Olympics? Specifically, why is it more like snowboarding the half-pipe than downhill skiing?
Answer: Because there are
judges.
There are points for artistry as well as technical merit. Your likeability
matters.
The
Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders documents the
benefits of being a likeable person.
Likeable people are happier, earn more money and even get better care
from their doctors. Sanders says likeable people
are those who are friendly, relevant, empathetic and real. I would add that likeable people keep their
promises.
I think being a likeable person is an important goal... but it isn't sufficient to make you a likeable speaker.
Here's my advice on how to a likeable speaker:
Love your content.
Love your audience.
Love yourself, but not too much.
Love your content
Have you ever seen Bruce
Springsteen in concert? He is incredible. It's hard to believe that
the next night he'll be in another city playing for the next audience with just as
much passion. The likeable speaker isn't just
passionate when she's speaking; she's passionate when she's practicing. She's done the homework to figure out how to
best explain her content. She conveys
her passion for the topic with her gestures and her voice.
If I could choose between listening to a speaker who is polished or to one who passionate, I'd choose to the passionate one.
See an example at this link: Majora Carter
is mostly reading her speech... but she's doing so with incredible
passion.
Love Your Audience
The most important aspect of loving your audience is deciding that you love them. Tailor your talk to
them. Make sure you explain your content in terms of "What's In It for Me?" (WIIFM). On the day of the talk, show up early and get
to know a handful of audience members. Ask them how your topic
is relevant in their lives. Learn the
names of as many people as you can. To the extent possible, use
their names in your speech. The more involved your audience is, the more they understand and
retain. For an example of a speaker who
truly loves his audience, go to this link.
Benjamin Zander is passionate about his content: classical music. He's
also absolutely crazy about his
audience and he lets them know it.
Love yourself, but not too much
There are two ways to fail here. One
is to be too needy, like a golden retriever who needs to be continually stroked. "Please, please, like me...." The second is to be too
full of yourself. You may (and should) know more than you audience about the particular topic, but you don't behave as if this makes you any better than they are. Instead, you're excited to share your message with them. For me, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin demonstrates this quality.
When she was in her 20's President Johnson asked her to write his
biography. Click on this link, and fast forward until the clock reads 7 minutes and 55 seconds. Goodwin shares her inner
monologue. In it we see her getting
knocked off her high horse. It's funny,
and makes her all the more likeable.
To be a likeable speaker: Love your content. Love your
audience. Love yourself... but not too much.
If you've read this far, I like you! I've purchased an extra copy of
Sanders' book: The Likeability Factor. I'll mail a copy to the first person who calls or emails me in response to this newsletter.
